Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
