used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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