i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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