me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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