you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
