I want to make a zoo with you.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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