Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
