so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
