He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
