Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
