Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
