singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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