So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
