And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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