I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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