Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
