its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
