She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
