so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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