a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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