blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
