You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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