spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
