girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
