i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
