I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
