I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
