Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
