woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
