you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
