i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
A+ Viking dick
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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