I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
