i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
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