I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
