I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Randomize
