using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
