miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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