I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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