He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
