**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
