Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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