OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
