i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
