fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
