okay pat passed out under dana's car
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
