Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
