party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
