I hate all girls vehemently.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
it glows. i had to have it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
