how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
