just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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