you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
